NOTICE! NOTICE!! NOTICE!!! To All Women

Dear women,

To: All Zee World, African Magic, E! Entertainment, Fashion one, ROK & Telemundo Fanatics.
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Date: 16th May, 2018

Subject: WARNING!

This serves to inform you all that World Cup is commencing next month.

Therefore, effective 12th June, 2018, you are hereby humbly asked to play a vital role in reducing cases of Gender-Based /Domestic Violence by keeping your hands off all remote controls when there is a football match. Especially when it is Nigeria, Brazil, Spain, Germany, Argentina, France, England, Mexico, Japan, Portugal, or Uruguay are playing.

Be further warned that asking questions like, "is that Iwobi, Keshi, Edwardo, Omokachi, Onazi, Mikel, Moses, Victor, Enyeama, Rashidi Yekini kicking the ball?" will not be entertained  because we are going to be very focused while watching this matches. Please during the half time do not say baby let me just check Telemundo for a minute because this may surely result in men being arrested for Gender- Based / Domestic Violence.

Kindly do us a favour by attending Women's Meetings, Church services and programs/gatherings, Baby showers, Kitchen parties, Facebook female friends hangouts regularly on weekends etc. You can even go visit your parents during this period no problem.

Your utmost co-operation in this matter would be highly appreciated. That is why we are giving you all a whole one month notice to avoid claims of impromptu notice. Thank you all for your understanding and love. We love you all deeply.

Yours sincerely,
Husbands/Boyfriends World Soccer Fans Club Secretary

Witnesses:
Cc :  Federal Ministry of Women's Affairs
Cc: I.G. of Police
Cc: Victim Support unit.